why did i join postsec?why didnt i just go back to serve?why?why?why?
arghh...damn it
now they have a squad4 shirt already!!...but im not in already!!...bloody hell...that shirt was what we always wanted to make...then now...arghh...why didnt i go back to serve?!
all this crap due to the series of wrong decisions i made last year...damn...why did i join postsec?why didnt i quit when i had the chance?
damnitdamnitdamnit
now im back to square1...back to the loser i was...like there was any changes in the past year...
maybe i shouldnt have gone to poly...maybe i should have heed her advice...
how i feel so lost...so...'disconnected'....it sucks to live so near to school and yet not be able to go back...
even if they were to let me in now...i'll be too ashame to go back...i'll be lost even if i were to go back...
ARGHH

damn...anyways..
i went for the lifeguard training today...it was ok...learnt how to set up the resuscitator and what to do if there were to be an emergency...pray that if i was on duty..nothing will happen...if not i'll panic lor...

anyways..we still have to wait for the person to approve and then issue us a code before we can start work..dunno now long that's gonna take...

they didnt hold the interview today cuz the 'boss' is not in...so i'll have to wait till i get the code before i can go for the interview and start to earn some dough...

in other words...this holiday has been a total waste of time...

i have to stop ponning swimming lessons alr....my stamina's dropping...and my strokes are all wrong!?

what if this isnt the path im supposed to take??