i finally lost it...havent cried like that for some time...i was supposed to keep it in..i tried...
dad said its good cuz it means i got feelings...just that i've been keeping it in..like duh..then what you expect me to do?...argue with the family meh?..to tell dad that he should stop nagging at me to do the hsework when all he does is sleep on the couch or check his mails when his at home?...to tell grandma to stop comparing me with the cousins..she sees them like what 3 times a week..they dont have to deal with her grumpiness and her pms periods and her nagging and...most of the time they see her, she's in a good mood..of course they'll be happy to see her..DAMN IT...and also tell her not to use me as a backup..when my brother ignores her, she come and nag at me..like WTF?!...to tell mum not to vent her anger at me...which she always does when she's angry at my dad...

what the fuck man...im like everyone's 'punching bag' at home...of course im angry and
im damn angry..

but what can i do?...of course i have to keep it in la...if i were to have outburst like everyone else...it would only add to the mess...

and dont worry...i wont commit suicide...cuz its a stupid thing to do and there's still tons of anime and manga which i havent seen or read yet!