rant: back to the drawing board? its too late.

the idea is simple.
find a goal, look and plan the methods to attain it, and execute.
or so they say.

however, its always the execution part that kills.
its easy to tell ppl how to find a goal, something that interests you, blah blah blah.
the methods? even easier, just google.
but execution?
it could take days, months or years.
looks good on paper
sucks when you actually carry it out.

i didnt want to end up like my parents.
workaholics who spend the weekends in the office, even though there's no extra pay.
their idea of 'running away from home'?
one of the key reasons why i never want to get married.
its great in the moment, but it'll be forever. i dont want to live like them.

the greatest regret i have now, is that i realised this too late.
by the time i started thinking about my 'future'
i realised i didnt have any skills.
peers could play the piano (which i had given up one), play a sport, draw, design, or simply had money.
peers could simply diverge from the usual education path and still could have a career somehow.
i had nothing.
i had been living an uninteresting life, not being interested in anything in partiular.
and then i woke up.
great.

so the most feasible plan to to continue studying.
at least i could how to get a degree and find a passable job.
then hopefully get my own hse.
easier said than done.
nobody told me uni was this tough.
or competitive.
yes, i want to stick to the plan.
but i dont want to waste the next few years studying only.

so now im on a minor roadblock.
how?

and with house prices like this,
i'll probably never get my own hse.
and the only alternative i can think of is to get out of here.
but that'll only happen 2.5yrs later.

im always talking in terms of years.
looks good on paper.
but its a painful, dreadful wait.

is there a limit on how much i can type in one post?
i'll stop here.